Whenever I have been fortunate enough to share a hotel room with a trouser press, I have assembled it as a useful counter for the contents of the mini-bar, while my strides have been woefully ignored and left concertinad in the corner.

That is not to say the trouser press is a joke object, as the Eastleigh MP Chris Huhne has recently found out. The Lib Dem rising star has repaid the £119 he claimed for such an appearance enhancer to the Treasury which is very honourable of him. And I do not think the man’s career should go down in a moist hiss of escaping steam because of this. After all a trouser press ain’t no moat…although it can be flipped as I have discovered when relying too heavily on its load-bearing capacity.

No, Mr Huhne’s dilemma is not that he claimed one on expenses, but that he acquired one at all. Mr Huhne is a member of the All-Party House of Commons Yacht Club and as such should know that all real sailors sleep on their shore-going rig to flatten it out.

Shame on you, Sir!

PS I do not claim the contents of my mini-bar on expenses, Her Majesty’s Inland Revenue please note.