'Drunken sailor' becomes 'grumpy pirate'

The sea shanty and nursery rhyme ‘What Shall We do with a Drunken Sailor?’ has become the latest victim of political correctness. A governnent-funded books project has taken issue with the reference to alcohol in the song and removed all reference to drunkenness.

The new version now asks, ‘What Shall we do with a Grumpy Pirate?’ concluding that rather than ‘Put him in the brig until he’s sober’, more responsible practice would be to ‘Do a little jig and make him smile’.

The charity Bookstart, a project that encourages parents to read with their young children, has produced the different version. It says that the shift from ‘drunken sailor’ to ‘grumpy pirate’ was to make the rhyme fit a pirate theme, rather than censorship.

The charity has dismissed accusations that this is a politically-correct attempt to avoid the alcohol references, saying that it was a case of re-cycling a familiar tune for reading events that were based on a pirate theme.

‘We wanted to find a rhyme which would fit in with this subject and this one has a tune which is instantly recognisable by all,’ said a statement from Bookstart. ‘The inclusion of action lyrics like ‘wiggle’ and ‘tickle’ offer parents and small children an opportunity to interact, have fun and enjoy acting out the rhyme together.’

Lines removed from the original ditty include ‘Put him in the brig until he’s sober’, ‘Keelhaul him and pass the bottle’, ‘Round with the rum and scotch and whiskey’.

The politically correct version instead has lines including ‘Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble’ and ‘Tickle him till he starts to giggle’.

The new lyrics: What Shall We Do With the Grumpy Pirate?

What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? Early in the morning.
Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.
Do a little jig and make him smile, Do a little jig and make him smile, Do a little jig and make him smile, Early in the morning.
Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.
Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Early in the morning.
Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.
Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Early in the morning.
Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.