Down my local pub they refer to the President of Iran as Armani Dinner-Jacket which is a trifle insulting. But the man does not deserve the reverence due an international statesman. In fact he reminds me of an intro Rob Gibson, an old Fleet Street colleague, once wrote to describe the Shah of Iran’s demise and the rise of his theocratical replacement Ayatollah Kohmeini: ‘Iran has lost a despot and gained a crackpot’ he penned.

Sadly things do not seem to have improved in that much suppressed state. Since Luke Porter, Oliver Smith, David Bloomer, Oliver Young and Sam Usher drifted into Iranian waters aboard their Volvo 60 en route to a sailing race, Esfandiar Rahim-Mashaie, President Ahmadinejad’s head of staff, has told
Iran’s Fars news agency: “Judiciary will decide about the five…
naturally our measures will be hard and serious if we find out they had
evil intentions.”

Yeah right. Spies, subversives and other ne’r do wells approach places like Iran in gaily-coloured yachts with giant slogans emblazoned in their sails hoping to sneak ashore and destabilise society.

OK, Iran is only building 10 uranium plants to beef up its well known public health care system: to provide the ingredients for X-Raying citizens. I suppose if President Ahmadinejad believes the world is going to believe that, then he will also expect her to believe that five unarmed young sailors in a boat which is more brightly coloured than the peacocks which strut round Teheran, are riding the horses of the apocalypse.