OK, your boat has sunk in the middle of the Pacific, your liferaft has a slow puncture, and the EPIRB battery’s out of date.

But never mind at least you have a supply of cola drinks.

Then you read the lable: ‘IMPORTANT. This is a pressurised container. Open with care. Avoid physical impact and extremes of temperature as this may weaken the bottle. When opening, hold cap firmly and point away from people and fragile objects.’

Which is, verbatim, the warning I read on a soft drinks bottle aboard a pal’s boat last weekend.

Is there nowhere safe?