News reaches me that residents of Poole are having their dustbins raided by snooping council workers who want to find out how wealthy their locals are.

They can then work out how much to charge for those who don’t recycle enough trash.

I’m just worried that once yachtsmen in the area get wind of their rubbish sacks being investigated they might be tempted to dump oodles of last night’s fish curry leftovers, rank victuals from the last cruise and used oil filters in their trash.